I’m Kemi, and my story is one of love, secrecy, and the choices that change everything...

I’m Kemi, and my story is one of love, secrecy, and the choices that change everything.

It all began when I was in my final year at the University of Lagos. I had always been the type of person who followed the rules, did what was expected, and never strayed from the path laid out for me. I was the pride of my family, the one who would graduate with honors, land a good job, and make everyone proud.

Then I met Tunde.

Tunde was the kind of man who could light up a room just by walking into it. He was charming, funny, and had an energy that was magnetic. We met at a mutual friend’s party, and from the moment we started talking, there was an undeniable connection. He was everything I wasn’t—spontaneous, adventurous, and unafraid to take risks. 

There was just one problem: Tunde was married.

When he first told me, I was shocked, hurt, and more than a little angry. But he was honest with me from the start. He said his marriage had been over in every way that mattered long before he met me. He stayed with his wife, Funmi, out of obligation—out of a sense of duty to their two young children. They lived together, but in separate worlds, barely speaking, only maintaining the appearance of a marriage for the sake of their families.

I knew getting involved with Tunde was wrong, but I couldn’t walk away. We began seeing each other in secret, meeting late at night or on weekends when he could get away. I told myself that I was helping him, that our relationship was a refuge for him from a life that had grown cold and empty. But deep down, I knew it was more than that. I was in love with him, and I was in too deep to turn back.

For months, we carried on our secret relationship, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying. I lived in constant fear of being discovered, of what would happen if his wife found out, if my family found out. But the more time we spent together, the more I convinced myself that we could make it work, that somehow, we could find a way to be together without destroying everything in the process.

Then Funmi got sick. What started as a mild illness quickly escalated into something far more serious. Tunde was torn—he wanted to be with me, but he couldn’t abandon her in her time of need. He felt guilty for the life they’d shared, for the children they’d raised together. I could see the weight of his responsibility pressing down on him, pulling him away from me.

One night, Tunde came to me, broken and exhausted. He told me he couldn’t keep doing this, that he needed to focus on his family, on his children, and on being there for Funmi. He said he loved me, but he couldn’t be the man who abandoned his wife in her final days. He asked me to wait for him, to give him time to do what he had to do.

I was devastated. I had given so much of myself to this relationship, sacrificed my peace of mind, my sense of right and wrong, all for a love that had no future. I wanted to scream, to beg him to stay, but I couldn’t. I knew he was right.

Tunde spent the next several months caring for Funmi as her condition worsened. I was left in the shadows, waiting, wondering if he would ever come back to me. I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I was going through—I had no right to ask for sympathy or advice. I was the other woman, the one who had knowingly entered into a relationship that could only end in pain.

After Funmi passed away, Tunde was a changed man. The grief and guilt weighed heavily on him, and while he still cared for me, something fundamental had shifted between us. He was no longer the carefree, charming man I had fallen in love with. He was a father grieving the mother of his children, a man burdened by the choices he had made.

When he finally came to me, he was honest. He told me he didn’t know if he could ever fully be mine, not in the way I wanted. He was haunted by the past, by the life he had shared with Funmi, and by the idea that he could never truly move on. He cared for me, but he didn’t know if that was enough anymore.

Now, I’m left with a decision that feels impossible. Do I stay with Tunde, knowing that our relationship is built on a foundation of secrets and lies, knowing that he may never be able to give me the love and commitment I deserve? Or do I walk away, try to rebuild my life without him, and live with the knowledge that I gave up on the one person who ever made me feel truly alive?

I don’t know what to do. I’ve made so many compromises, sacrificed so much for this love, but at what cost? Do I stay and fight for a future with Tunde, or do I let go and try to find happiness on my own? 

Every time I think I have the answer, I’m pulled in a different direction, caught between my heart and my conscience. And the worst part is, I can’t ask anyone for advice. I’m trapped in a situation of my own making, and I have no idea how to escape it.